BIOHAZARD CLEANUP AT

Approximately a dozen safety-minded Cacophonists showed up to assist with emergency clean-up needs at the Sunset Junction Street Fair this Saturday. Clean-up workers were attired in hooded white Tyvek suits, long black rubber chemical gloves, and mouth respirators attached to air filtration units worn on the back. Approximately 3-cubic feet of possibly hazardous material was collected and placed in bags. prominently labeled "BIOHAZARD: DISPOSE OF PROPERLY." Around 250 informational handouts warning of the recent spill of "Trendizium" were distributed to onlookers who expressed curiosity about our volunteer work. Cleanup was made slightly more difficult by the large numbers in attendance at the fair, but over the course of a 90 minute sweep down Sunset Boulevard, Society workers evolved this efficient four-part procedure to counter the problem:

2) Volunteers alerted those in the immediate vicinity of the hazard, forming a human "circle of safety" around the object, pushing crowd outwards to a safe distance and creating maximum panic.

3) Object was liberally and theatrically sprayed with neutralizing agents.

4) Object was lifted into biohazard bags by one of more workers using mechanically articulated grippers.
 
Crowds were generally compliant and in fact supportive of the volunteer efforts, though workers met with occasional harassment from individuals mistaking the activities for satirical theater expressing a homophobic or otherwise threatening agenda.