GALLERY IMPOSTURE
Saturday, March 4, 6 p.m. Imagine the typical art gallery, an austere white space where oversized & overpriced works are displayed and sold on a take-it-or-leave-it basis. Now imagine such a gallery suddenly besieged with customers from hell. These could include a snooty Yuppie couple intent on finding something that goes with the couch, while they loudly argue about trimming their purchase so it fits the living room wall. They could be followed by a fussy designer, who likes the work but wants it in a different color. Meanwhile, an annoyed art critic in a beret loudly dismisses the art, while some blue-collar couple asks to see something with puppies. The fun continues as angry feminists enter and demand to see more works by women, etc. Now imagine a string of clustered galleries being simultaneously besieged by these folks, and you've got yourself a work of performance art. About a dozen galleries are within 4 blocks of Melrose and Robertson and are
certain to have  a new rotation of the same-old-same-old, irritating patrons, and a copious supply of free booze to help you get in character.
Info: Contact la@cacophony.org. Where: Rendevous point before hitting galleries: J Sloans, 8623 Melrose Avenue, West Hollywood (an icky bar on Melrose between S. Vincente and La Cienega phone 310-659-0250).  Please be on time since openings end by 9 p.m.  We'll probably leave the bar shortly after 6 p.m. Attire: Any convincing character costuming. Props: Swatches of fabric, tape measure, sample color charts and wood grains, Polaroids of living rooms, pages torn from Better Homes and Gardens.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

LA MARATHON OUTREACH
Sunday, March 5, 10:30 a.m.  Fitness is a virtue -- theoretically -- as is getting up early on Sunday. Be an athletic supporter-encourage the runners in the LA Marathon to stop at the official Cacophony rest stop. Bring extra chairs, cigarettes, malt liquor, pork rinds, cheeseburgers and other homey and comfy items to aid the weary, corporate-sponsored marathoners take a load off. Got vitamins? Sell them as amphetamines and steroids. Got sign-making material? Encouraging words, such as "Free Donuts," "Just Stop,"  "Why Try?" or "Shortcut" should help keep up the pace.  Cacophonist Perry will be providing placards compiling cheery Marathon death statistics (2% death rate for men whose ages averaged 39 years, according to the British Healthy Journal!)   Sleeping bags or abandoned sofas dragged to our rest stop would make it much more restful -- bring what you can.  Bathrobes and slippers or other slothful wear encouraged.
Info: Rev. Al (323) 668-0080, or reval@cacophony.org. Where:Santa Monica Blvd. and Gateway Avenue near Sunset Junction in Silverlake). Because of blocked streets Sunset can only be crossed via underpasses (Silverlake, Myra, Glendale). Location can only be accessed from south of Sunset off of Hoover Ave. (Hyperion starts there) between Santa Monica and Melrose.  LA Marathon Route overview. Want to see stories and pictures from the 1999 Marathon Prank?  What about making up some stories of your own?  The official Marathon website has a page where you can submit to the unwitting press stories of your own personal victories.  By all means, feel free to submit a few inspirational lies.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

FROM SILVER LAKE TO HELL
SLAB CITY ROAD TRIP
Saturday, March 11, 8 a.m.  Leonard Knight, unwitting Cacophonist, has been spending his days painting a fresco of Jesus. In day-glo paint. On a mountain. Dedication like that is hard to ignore. In his honor we'll be driving the three hours to Salvation Mountain to see the fruit of his ten years labor near Slab City and the Salton Sea. The good and benevolent Mr. Knight, who resides in an art truck on-site, will likely be present. If so, he'll lead pilgrims up the face of the mount, for which he usually receives a tithe of paint or a few dollars (please bring what you can). If not, we'll do it ourselves for free. We're a little reluctant to use the word "eccentric", but someone who's spent the last ten years painting a mountain is probably worth talking to. Then we'll be heading to Slab City, an abandoned marine base turned seasonal trailer community. Think of it as Road Warrior for the elderly. So what are we going to do there? Hell if we know. Don't worry, somehow wherever we go, trouble seems to follow. It's a hellish drive, so start complaining early.
Where: Meet in the parking lot of Rick's, a greasy spoon at the corner of Riverside and Fletcher. 2400 Fletcher Drive. Bring beer and stay drunk all day if you know what's good for you.  RSVP/Info:  For car pool info contact mister-the-saint: (323) 548-0843 or Saintam@hotmail.com.  (Please call in case of rain.)
 
 

Thursday, March23, 7:30 p.m. Events for April and on into spring share the table with you, your French-dip sandwich, pickled eggs, beer, and coffee. Bring your own damn fool notions for events or just sit quietly and roll your eyes.

Where:Philippes, 1001 N. Alameda, across from Union Station. In the back room. Look for the skull on the table. Info: (213) 694-2478 or e-mail la@cacophony.org.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

CACOPHONY AT HOLLY MATTER GALLERY
Sunday, March 26, 7 p.m. - 10 p.m.  We dug back into the closet and dusted off that two-color potato print of Jimmy Page we made in high school, and now we're ready to cash in. Local gallery Holly Matter has foolishly invited us to display our art to the madding crowd of yuppies who are taking over Silver Lake and filling up their houses with possessions. Will we behave ourselves, or will we dress and act like caricatures of art-world types? Will mopes who touch paintings suffer beatings with rubber chickens? Not if we can help it. We are serious this time. In addition to oil painting, multimedia, and photography, the opening will feature art-to-go, so that we may be sure to get our tuxes splattered with paint as we fill orders for the art-starved patrons. The exhibition itself will include artistic creations recalling Cacophony events and new work by artists associated with the group, including Jon Alloway, Al Guerrero, Amanda Jensen, Mari Kono, Tim Ottman, and Michael Perrick.  But enough about visuals: The opening night will also feature spoken word by well-known Silver Lake poet Jeffrey McDaniel and Pink, a spoken word duo, dead set on freeing up some associations. Live music will be provided by Ape Has Killed Ape, featuring humans on trombone, sax, Moog, surge, and Theremin. When this band plays, local celebrities Bill Blake (of the 1970s Planet of the Apes television show) and Natalie Trundy, (veteran of Conquest of..., Beneath the..., Escape from..., and Battle for...  the Planet of the Apes) have been known to appear.  Another band, Robot Monster, promises to unleash a terrifying analog assault, and two DJs will keep the dancing shoes shuffling.  Oh, yes, and there will be some free booze.
Where: Holly Matter, 2395 Glendale Blvd. (In the same building as Rockaway Records). Info: Eric Howard (323) 662-4999 or e-mail eric@tetramater.com.